The Clarks: Marilyn Mickelson

How do you adequately write about someone you love so dearly? I hope this post will do justice.

While we were in Peru we got the devastating news that Brad's grandma had passed away. I'll never forget. We had just got back to our hotel after hiking the Inca Trail. I had taken a nice hot bath and got out of the tub and finally looked at my phone after being disconnected with the world for the past 4 days and noticed a message from a family member of her passing. I then had to give Brad the news. It took us both completely by surprise. We knew that she was just given a year to live, but it was still very sudden. We both felt so strongly that we would see her one last time this summer and get a chance to say our goodbyes. It was devastating. She passed away the first night on our Inca Trail so by the time we found out it had been a few days and the funeral was to be held in only one more day. There was no way for Brad and I to make it, and that was just as hard. Brad was really close to her, and she was like my own Grandma to me. She made me and everyone feel so special and so loved.

Fortunately even though we were on the other side of the world, Brad's cousin Tom was amazing to us. He was giving the talk at her funeral and was collecting 5-6 memories from all the grandchildren and their spouses about Grandma for his talk. He really tried hard to make us feel apart of the process even though we couldn't be there. He sent us her obituary, and the talk he was going to give at the funeral, and also told us the story of how she passed. It was a really sweet story, Marilyn had been in some pain that day and asked Grandpa to give her a back rub. Reed is not usually a physically intimate person, but he stayed up late into the night holding her and rubbing her back. She passed away in his arms at about 2 in the morning.

Here are the memories that Brad wrote in honor of his Grandma to send to Tom. It was real tender laying in our hotel bed thinking of her and remembering her as we wrote these. A few tears were shed.

1. When in UT last summer and had family pictures with everyone in Logan we were the first to arrive along with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma spent most of the time playing a "road trip game" with our kids using the alphabet and thinking of words that start with each letter and repeating them back. Watching her spend time with with our kids like that meant a lot, especially living far away.

2. Growing up she would always make me feel important/special and I was always grateful that she would support every milestone in my life, whether big or small. She cheered us on and was always there for graduations, baptisms, weddings, missions, sports, etc. I've always felt nothing but love from Grandma.

3. Of course, whenever we visit she rolls out the red carpet with a multi-course meal for all, and tops it off with ice cream and her famous chocolate syrup. She first serves everyone and is the last one to sit and join everyone else. Again, her love for her family and/or guests shines bright.

4. Always took us out to dinner/lunch for any occasion when we'd stop by to visit. When we were poor newlyweds she'd treat us to some the best restaurants and made sure we'd get the most expensive item on the menu.

5. She always loved to see pictures of our family and would ask to buy some of the books, albums, or calendars that Emily put together. Also, she liked to default to her dependable disposable cameras. She loved to see memories captured in an image.

*6. At baby blessings she would write down all the words that were said in the prayer helping everyone remember the words and thoughts conveyed.

Emily's memories:

1. I'll always remember her with her disposable camera in hand. Even when someone bought her a brand new, nice digital one she would always go back to her trusty disposable one. She was always wanting to capture the family moments, even if the moment didn't warrant pictures. She and I had that in common. She always told me how much she loved that I made books, calendars, and had my blog. I always mail her a card with with family and school pictures of us and the kids. Since we lived most of our married life away from Utah, this was our way of trying to still be close.

2. We spent one Christmas with the Mickelson's. We were living in Arizona at the time and drove up to enjoy the holidays with family. All of the Clark family slept over Christmas Eve night. We sang Christmas carols around Grandma's beautiful Christmas tree. On Christmas morning our oldest son Carson (almost age 2 at the time) got a tricycle and rode it all around their house. It was a wonderful Christmas.

3. She always remember you. Every year when we first married she would make these heart shaped rice Krispy treats every Valentine's Day. Brad said she had made them for Valentine's his whole life and would even mail them to him on his mission. Sure enough when we moved to Arizona we got a package on Valentine's with those rise Krispy treats. I don't think anyone even liked eating them (except for the chocolate she placed in the middle), but it was the thought and love put behind them. She always remembers birthdays and special occasions. Even though I know her health had been declining, she still sent our oldest son a birthday card with some money in it just two months before she passed.

4. Her German pancakes always came out perfect. I asked her for her recipe, her secret tips, and would watch her make it so I could replicate it, but my German pancakes still always shrivel up after being taken out of the oven. I don't know how she made hers stay perfectly fluffy.

5. She was so proper. Her dinner table always perfectly set with China. Her hair never out of place.

*6.When I was going through my battle with cancer, she told me she put my name in the temple every single time.

7. But what I'll always cherish is her relationship with Reed. He was such a jokester and she would just give him this look and say "Oh Reed!" With this little laugh of hers. It always made me smile.

(the starred memories are the memories that Tom included in his talk.)

Grandma with her infamous dinners. For this picture, Brad flew into town for a business trip and spent a few extra days so he could visit family. Grandma made sure to roll out the red carpet for him!

We were in town for memorial day one year and she took us to her parents and Reed's grave sites and told us stories about them.

Even though we did see Marilyn one more time after this. In my mind, I consider this moment the last memory I will have of her. It was last summer and we were in Logan for some Mickelson family pictures. We arrived 30 minutes early and it was just us and grandma and grandpa alone for half an hour before the rest of the family showed up. She played road games with the kids (as mentioned in Brad's memory) and begged us to come up to Logan the next day for a more official visit.

Going to Marilyn's house (because of course, it's always Grandma's house, not Grandpa's) you never ring the doorbell, because the door is always open. Her house was always so welcoming and inviting for everyone. She made us a wonderful dinner and on this occasion, we ate it outside on her patio overlooking the Logan Valley. We sat on her porch and talked while eating Creamies and watching the sunset.

This was officially the last time we saw her. Thanksgiving of last year when we were in town for Daniel's wedding. I gave her, her own copy of the Clark family cookbook as a Christmas present. Marilyn loved the one I gave Kae and she was always asking to buy one from me. To see her open it and loving all the family pictures I included in it is something I'll always cherish. I'm so glad I got to give her that gift shortly before she died. It would have haunted me forever if I never got that chance.