This is going to be a difficult post to write, but one that I must do. I didn't want to wait too long to write it for fear that I might forget my thoughts, feelings, and small details. That day seems such a blur already and I want to get it out while it is still fresh before it gets any more blurry.
Beware that this is going to be very long and full of graphic descriptions.
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We have always gone up to Utah for Christmas. Every year since we've lived in Arizona we've done this, but due to work schedule conflicts, Brad had to work the week of Christmas. So we decided to go up to Utah a week and a half before to enjoy the festivities and to use up the rest of Brad's paid time off. I really think it was meant to be. We needed to be there through all of this.
We left Wednesday, December 12 mid-day after Brad got off working half day, and drove straight to Layton. We got to my parents house around 1 am and we tried not to wake anyone. We headed downstairs to where we were going to sleep. Aaron was asleep on the basement couch. Typical. He prefers the couch most of the time to his own bed. I wondered why Aaron was here though thinking that it is finals week and he should be down in Orem, but I didn't question it. I had Carson say hi to Aaron and I think Aaron grumbled "oh hi Carson" before he rolled back over to sleep. At least thats how I'm going to remember it.
I wish I would have woken him up to say hi. He left early that morning to go back to school. I didn't know that after that night everything was going to change and that that night could have been the last chance to "see" Aaron.
Thursday, December 13 we spent the day in Logan visiting Brad's grandparents and walking our old stomping grounds at USU. We contemplated spending the night at Brad's parents, but all our stuff was still in Layton so we went back to the Murphy's and I'm so glad we did.
While on the drive to Layton I got a call from Stephanie Murphy (my cousins Scott's wife) who are in our ward back in Arizona. She told me that my friend Bryna's husband suddenly passed away from a heart attack. He was my age. 27. Taking his son Cole (3 years old and Carson's best friend) on a father son camping trip. He made it just a couple blocks before Cole said "his daddy took a deep breath and fell asleep." I was devastated. I couldn't imagine losing my husband so suddenly like that. Carson asked Brad why mommy was so sad. I slept in Brad's arms that night.
3 o'clock in the morning (December 14) my mom knocks on the door. Its never a good sign when you're awaken that early. "The hospital called, Aaron is unresponsive, can we borrow your car to drive to Provo (Aaron took my mom's car to Provo for the day)?" Brad said he would drive. Tim would stay with the kids. We got up and dressed and out the door in 5 minutes. While walking to the car I said to my mom "when something bad happens it comes in three's. Whats next?" I should have bit my tongue, I probably jinxed it, because that same day was the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting which killed 20 children.
My dad had called Uncle Phillip who lives in Provo if he could go to the hospital to check on Aaron since he lives so close. Uncle Phil was a life saver that night. Don't know what we would have done without him.
While on the drive to the hospital I was the messenger. I called Kat and Marilyn. I'm glad they sleep by their phones. Uncle Phil called and said that Aaron was going in to get a MRI done. Katherine called back and they talked to Aaron's girlfriend. She said that it was just a concussion and that Aaron was going to be just fine. We felt very relieved and hopeful.
It was 4 o'clock when we arrived at the hospital. Uncle Phil greeted us as we entered and gave my dad a hug. Grandma and Grandpa Forsyth arrived just shortly after we did, and then a Social Worker (who was an angel) came and whisked us away. The social worker, Travis, told us that Aaron's condition was very serious and that they need to take him into surgery right away. We were a little shocked since on the ride over we thought that everything was going to be all right.
Travis said that we could go see Aaron before surgery, but to prepare ourselves, because Aaron had a black eye, a neck brace, and a breathing tube. He told us that the MRI showed a fracture to the skull and some swelling and bleeding. They needed to get him into surgery as soon as possible.
I walked into the room and saw Aaron. It really was shocking to see him like that. Mom wouldn't come in. She kept pacing the hallway wringing her hands and shaking her head. Grandpa calmed her down a little and she did come in to see Aaron.
We later heard from Uncle Phil that they were allowing us to say our goodbyes since his injury was so grim. I didn't think of it like that at the time. I felt that he was going to make it out of the surgery just fine. I guess it still hadn't sunk in the severity of Aaron's injury quite yet.
The doctors told us it would probably be 1 hour for the surgery. It turned into 4. It was a long time in the waiting room. Everyone was on the edge of their seats or pacing the halls. While in the waiting room Uncle Phil told us what he had found from Aaron's roommates about the accident.
Aaron and his roommates were drinking and they thought it would be fun if they could jump and catch onto a balcony. The first one they did was too easy so they decided to go to higher balcony. They were running down a hill that led to the apartments and two of Aaron's roommates successfully caught onto the balcony, but when Aaron did it he didn't get a good grip and he fell onto his back and then his head smacked onto the cement. They said he fell 8 feet, but when we later went back to the "scene of the crime" it looked more like 12+ feet.
(site of the accident)
It was a stupid accident. What where they thinking? It makes you angry, but then how can you be angry at someone who is so hurt? Its a mix of emotions.
His roommates where too drunk and scared they'd get into trouble, so instead of calling 911 they scooped him up and drove him to the hospital where they just dropped him off. The roommates just wanted to run, but luckily a nurse was able to get out of them some information before they just took off. Then shortly after Uncle Phil arrived at the hospital one of the roommates called claiming to be Aaron's brother. Uncle Phil said "which brother? The one in China?" That made me smile. So Uncle Phil talked to the roommate and got the whole story. He said the roommates felt no empathy toward Aaron and were only scared that they would get into trouble. Some "friends" they were.
It was a long 4 hours. I was the messenger. Making the calls and sending emails to family members letting them know what had happened. I kept trying to get a hold of Daniel (who was in China doing study aboard) via Skype to let him know of the news, but he wouldn't log into his computer. I was really anxious to speak to him. He had to know and I couldn't get a hold of him.
Waiting in the waiting room I was very anxious and numb. Uncle Phil brought us some water and pastries for breakfast, but he had to leave to go teach school. He would come back after school to see how Aaron was doing. Dad kept trying to find any nurse coming out of the surgery to see if they had worked on Aaron. Dad found one and when asked how the surgery was going, he said "fairly well." Fairly well? What did that mean. It didn't comfort us much.
The surgeon Dr. Garner finally came in with the prognoses'. It was 8 am. It was worse then they thought. Bone fragments had penetrated into the brain matter, his bruise is blossoming (getting bigger), the area damaged to his brain affects communication, and they had to shave a part of his temporal lobe to allow space for swelling. We later found of from Aunt Sara (who is a nurse) that part of Aaron's brain was coming out of his skull fracture when they first started surgery.
The doctor told us he is not out of the woods yet by any means. He will remain in a coma for at least a week because of the swelling. Typically day 3-5 after the trauma is the worst for swelling so to prepare ourselves. Even if Aaron does survive he will not be the same Aaron. There has been too much damage. It was tough news to hear.
Aaron was going to be moving to the ICU and they would allow us to see him in another half hour. Mom and Dad went to go sign papers and while they were doing this Brad, Grandpa, Grandma, and I went upstairs to wait to see Aaron. The nurse came and asked us to only have a couple come in at a time. Brad and I stayed behind so Grandma and Grandpa could see him first because they had to get back home. After they saw Aaron they came back to say goodbye to Brad and I. Seeing Grandpa about to leave after he had been such a comforting presence through all this, made me cry for the first time since this happened. I sobbed in his arms for what felt like forever, but it was probably only a few minutes.
Mom and Dad came back as well as Uncle Phil, it was his break at school, so the 5 of us went to see Aaron. I went in holding Brad's hand. Mom couldn't bear to go in. She waited outside the door. I can't imagine what she must be going through. I know if it was one of my boys...
It was a shock seeing Aaron, but not as much of a surprise as I thought. Maybe, because this is what I had been preparing myself for after we had spoken to the doctor. Aaron's head was shaved, and like Grandma said earlier, he looks ready to go into the military. I saw his black eye for the first time. When I saw him earlier I must have just seen his good side. It was a deep purple and very swollen. I couldn't stay in there long at first. I walked out and gave my mom a hug and tried to get her to come see Aaron. She did, but still stayed close by the door.
The nurse told us we could only hold Aaron's hand. We couldn't rub his arm or touch anything else. We had to be very quiet. We don't want to over-stimulate him while his brain is healing. I softly held his hand and cried. "I'm sorry" was what I kept saying over and over to him.
We didn't stay long. There wasn't much for us to do at this point except wait. Plus we needed to get back home to the boys. Marilyn came over to help Tim with them, but we still needed to go home. It had been a long day already and it was only around 10 in the morning.
Carson and Tanner were very excited to see us. Apparently when Carson woke up he told Marilyn that mommy was sad that daddy died. Marilyn was confused and told Cason that his daddy didn't die. We had to explain to Marilyn that Carson meant that it was his friend Cole's daddy that passed away. Carson's only 3 he doesn't understand.
Around noon Daniel skyped. I thought for sure he had gone to bed and wouldn't call till this evening (he's a day ahead). It was 3 in the morning his time. He went and saw a movie which is why he missed our attempts to reach him earlier. He came home and saw my email labeled emergency and called. He said he knew it had to be Aaron. Marilyn, Tim, and I got on. Marilyn just cried and couldn't talk. Tim couldn't even look at Daniel and left. So it left me to tell Daniel what had happened. Daniel had a hard time. He wouldn't look at us and was really chocked up. After I had told him the basics he simply said "I'll call you back." Daniel called an hour or two later. He just needed some time alone. I understood. Daniel wouldn't be home for another 4 days. We all wished it would be sooner.
I hadn't had a good nights sleep for 2 days in a row now and was running on empty, but I couldn't sleep. How could I? I don't remember what else we did that day except it was very somber. So that evening we thought we'd get the boys out of the house and we went to the Clark's. Brad, Brent, and Ryan gave me a blessing. I'm so thankful for Brad. He has been my rock through all this and his blessing was beautiful, comforting, and what I needed to hear. I love him.
I slept like a log that night.
